Saturday, July 24, 2004
Friendster has been hugely instrumental in helping me come across a lot of long lost people from my past. It is always a pleasant surprise to get a message from someone you once knew but lost touch with once upon a time when text or email was unheard of. It is always amusing to see, at least through pictures, how much these people have grown and changed over the years. This is definitely one of the most useful developments in technology lately, at least to me.
I recently discovered, though, that this isn't always a pleasant scenario.
A few days ago, I have gotten a message from a man from my past whom I hoped I would never have to cross paths with again. This person was responsible for a lot of questions I posed on my own confidence and being, as well as the cause for a number of impulsive, almost reckless actions I have made. Needless to say, having his face pop up on my screen was not a sight which I expected or wanted.
He apologized for being a "big jerk", and though he said that did not expect me to forgive him, he asked for forgiveness all the same. He left me his digits and asked me for my friendship once again.
Had I received a similar message from him four years ago, I would have called him without a second thought. Had I seen his face four years ago, the words "big jerk" would have been meaningless where he was concerned. Had he not hurt me the way he did four years ago, I would still forever be waiting for him to give me everything he had so loosely promised.
Some people are not worth giving second chances to, especially since technically, it would be their fourth chance. I am no longer a masochist who is all too willing to put herself on the line for the sake of something she mistakenly thinks of as love. It has been a long process, but I have learned to love and trust myself first and foremeost before any man.
As for Mr. self-admitted "big jerk", your apology is four years too late. Though nothing would satisfy me more than to see your face rub the ground, I still wish you a good life. I no longer have plans of being part of it, and please do not contact me again.
About the Author
I have quit trying to figure out the inner workings of God's mind. I have learned to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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